It should be noted that perfect happiness is not a reflection on a perfect life. I'm pretty sure in my "perfect" life I would be at least 20 pounds lighter and probably employed. Yeah, I quit (I QUIT) my job. In this economy. To go to culinary school full-time. I am turning 32 on February 8th, acquiring 30k in debt and am not only unemployed but perhaps unemployable at this point.
But you know what? I like getting older. Because the perspective I've gained far outweighs anything I've lost. Happiness is fleeting. You just have to ride that wave when you catch it.
I think I'm finally beginning to understand. When I was younger, it was a constant deferment: I will be an adult once X, Y, and Z happens. I will be happy then too.
It's a lie. No accomplishment will make you feel worthy or comfortable in your own skin. That's just something I've learned how to do by fucking up. A lot. And fucking up takes time, you can't rush a good fuck up! Sometimes it's years in the making.
I want to stay away from saying I've finally found the "right" path. Because that's bullshit too. I am doing something I love and enjoy but I reserve the right to move on to other things I love and enjoy. Truthfully, I'm a little scared to tell everyone how good I feel. I don't know if they'd believe me -it may not even be legal to feel this good.
I'm essentially broke. I'm single. Unemployed. Uninsured. I have no assets. I am the unamerican dream incarnate. But I have never been happier.
The photos were taken at my Zombie VooDoo Cajun Birthday Celebration (tm).
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